When You're Gone
by Kathryn Rayner Of Voyager
Summary: Something I came up with on the bus home from school while listening to Avril Lavigne.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Breakup

Seven woke to the sound of a door being closed. The bed next to her was empty, and there was a note on her bedside table. Sh epushed herself up into a sitting position, turned on the light and opened the note to read it.

_I'm sorry Seven, but I can't do this anymore – be with you I mean. Much as I love you, what I feel fpr you is the love of a friend more than that of a lover. I hope you can understand, I never meant to hurt you. Chakotay._

Something welled up inside of her, something she couldn't comprehend just yet. She felt moisture welling up behind her eyes, and she squeezed her eyes tight shut, but couldn't stop them from escaping. She pushed back the covers and went to the window, pushing open the curtains to watch the shadowy figure leaving the apartmant black and walking off down the road.

_And the bed where you lie_

_Is made up on your side_

_When you walk away_

_I count the steps that you take_

=/\=

The walk from the transporter station to the Janeway farm seemed to take way too long. He had left in the middle of the night, hoping that by disappearing into the darkness, it would be easier for Seven to accept his absence from her life.

He also hoped that she would understand. The debriefings had been over for months, but most of the Voyager family were still in the San Fransisco area, or at least still on Earth. She had an aunt in Sweden that was already waiting to meet her, and had received several offers, including a post at the Vulcan Science Academy, but he didn't know whether she'd decided on anything yet.

He rounded a corner just as the sun started to break the horizon, so in the dawn light he could see the Janeway farm in the far off distance. It was exactly as he'd pictured it whenever he and Kathryn had sat down to talk about things like their childhood homes and their families. He smiled tiredly, and pushed on wards.


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay reached the old-fashioned farmhouse at around midday. He stood at the bottom of the porch steps for about five minutes before gathering up the courage to climb them and ring the chime. The door was answered by an unfamiliar woman slightly shorted than Kathryn Janeway, but one look at her told him that this was Kathryn's little sister Phoebe.

"Um, hi," he said, not sure what to say anymore. Everything that he'd been planning on saying suddenly vanished from his mind. "Is Kathryn home?" She nodded and stepped aside, letting him enter. He looked around the main living area, which was covered by stray children's toys.

"You might have to wait a while," she said, "Kathryn doesn't usually appear until around sunset." There seemed to be an air of sadness around her as she said it. He looked around and spotted framed pictures on the mantlepiece. He strolled over to have a closer look at them.

Several were family pictures, showing Kathryn, Phoebe, and an older couple that he could only assume were Gretchen and Edward Janeway. Then there were individual holo-photos of Kathryn and Pheobe, a family picture of Phoebe's family. The last two holo-photos were the ones that surprised him; there was one of the whole Voyager crew at one of Neelix's parties a few years before, maybe four or five years into their journey, and one of Voyager's senior crew - one where he had an arm around Kathryn's shoulders and she seemed to be laughing at something someone had said, although he couldn't remember what that thing was.

His heart twisted at seeing her smile like that, trying to remember when the last time he'd seen her laugh like that was, but he couldn't recall. All he could remember was seeing her laughing with other men - some had been diplomats from other planets, some had been members of their crew . . . And some had been her lovers.

He closed his eyes as jealousy and hurt welled up inside him, remembering just how many times he'd done the same thing to her - it pained him to remember how she'd tried to be happy for him, tried to smile and be there for him, but she'd always failed miserably. She'd kept her distance, retreated into herself, avoided spending any more time than absolutely necessary with him.

_We were made for each other_

_Out here forever_

_I know we were_

_Yeah yeah_

_All I ever wanted you to know_

_Everything I do, I give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe, I need you here with me_

_Yeah_

"Do you want to eat lunch with us?" The voice dragged him out of his thoughts, and he had to pause to remember the question. He nodded, and dropped his bag down on the rug next to a chair, following the girl into what appeared to be the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

Seven stepped out of the shower and dressed. She stood in the middle of the living room for a long time before deciding on the computer console. She turned it on to find it on a letter to Chakotay from a Phoebe Janeway. It was a written letter, and despite now knowing that such things were wrong, she read it;

_Dear Chakotay;_

_We met at the Welcome Home Ball a few months ago. I know that you are dating a girl called Seven, and she's very pretty, but I also know that you and Kathryn were close on Voyager. She told me so much about you in her letters, I feel like I already know you._

_I hope you can help me; ever since she returned from the debriefings in San Fransisco, Kathryn's been in a depression so bad, its worse than the one she experienced after Dad and Justin died. And its got worse since Mum died a few weeks ago. She gets up a dawn and disappears out into the farmlands until dusk, and she hasn't eaten anything that I've seen._

_I don't know what to do Chakotay. I know that she experienced something similar out in the Delta Quadrant in that place you called the Void, and all that I've asked for help have said to come to you. Do you think that you can help me?_

_Pheobe Janeway_

Seven leaned back in the chair. The date the letter had been recieved read several weeks ago, but appeared not to have been opened until a few days ago, after Chakotay's meeting with Tom, B'Elanna and Miral a few days ago. She wondered why it was only now that Chakotay was starting to talk to the rest of the Voyager crew. They had been home for months, it was an illogical move to avoid them.


	4. Chapter 4

B'Elanna woke to the sun shining through the curtains onto her face again. For the third day in a row. She groaned and rolled out of bed, picking up a gurgling Miral from her cot on the way out. She prepared Miral's breakfast and got herself a mug of coffee before sitting down to look at the messages on the computer. The only one she had was from Chakotay.

She opened it, and read it with half an eye as she fed Miral;

_Dear B'Elanna;_

_I recieved a message from Phoebe Janeway a few weeks ago, asking for help. Why didn't you tell me that Gretchen Janeway passed away?!_

_I'm leaving for Indiana tonight. I have to end it with Seven, this just isn't working out for me. Much as I tried to make it work, I'm starting to see why I tried to make it work between us. I wanted to hurt Kathryn, but I didn't want to hurt her this bad. I have to say I'm sorry and try and make it up to her._

_Chakotay_

B'Elanna smiled to herself and started to get ready for the day. She was glad Chakotay had finally come to his senses.

She was in the middle of preparing breakfast for herself and Tom when the computer console beeped, signalling a video call waiting. She left the food where it was and picked up Miral, sitting down at the console with MIral on her lap again as she answered her call. It was Seven.

"Seven! I didn't expect to hear from you. How is everything?"

"Everything is adequate, as it should be," replied the former drone. "Have you heard from Chakotay?" B'Elanna hesitated for a moment before answering.

"The last message I received said that he was heading to Indiana, why?"

"I would like you to pass on a message to him for me."

"Okay . . . "

"Could you tell him that I enjoyed the time we spent together, and that I hope to see him again one day."

"Okay . . . "

"Thank you." The comm link ended.

"What was all that about?" B'Elanna turned to see Tom stood behind her, hair tousled, eyes still half-open and sleepy. She shrugged, and handed Miral to him so that she could finish breakfast.

_Waking up, I see that everything is okay_

_First time in my life, and now its so great_

_Slowing down, I look around and I am so amazed_

_I think about the little things that make life great_

_I wouldn't change a thing about it_

_This is the best feeling_


	5. Chapter 5

_I found a place, not a single tear_

_The first time in my life, and now its so clear_

_Feel calm, I belong; I'm so happy here_

_It's so strong, and now I let myself be sincere_

_I wouldn't change a thing about it_

_This is the best feeling_

Seven climbed off the transport ship. The air on Vulcan was hotter and more dense than the air on Earth, but she would adapt.

"Seven." She turned to find Tuvok waiting for her. "I trust that your journey went well."

"It was adequate." She fell into step alongside him as they walked across the planet's dry walked in silence until they reached the cafe where they met T'Pel. They found a table in a corner at the back, away from everyone else so that they couldn't be heard by others. "I have a question regarding human emotion," she said.

"Proceed."

"Is it normal to form an emotional attachment to someone to the point where you are willing to let them disappear from your life completely?" Tuvok didn't answer immediately.

"I have found that if you believe that it will be better for both of you, then yes. Why do you inquire into such a difficult matter?"

"Because I have found recently that despite the fact that I feel something towards Chakotay, I didn't experience that feeling of great distress that I expected to feel when he left. I was greatly saddened, but I also felt that the event was not only practical but that it needed to happen."

T'Pel answered Seven this time. "I believe you feel the loss of a regular, incomplete presence in your life, but you know that that presence must be lost in order for it to return again, but this time complete."

"That is an appropriate theory for what I am experiencing at this present time. It will suffice."

The conversation ended when their food arrived, and they ate in silence, each lost in their thoughts about human emotion.


	6. Chapter 6

Kathryn trudged back to the farmhouse over the miles of farmland behind it. The sun had almost completely set, but there still about half an hour of natural light left, enough to guide her home. Her eyes were glazed and tired, she didn't really see where she was going. Her feet walked straight ahead, taking her closer and closer to home with each step.

Her mind was wandering, her thoughts chaotic. All she could think about was how she was so alone. Chakotay was with another woman, Phoebe had a family of her own, her mother was dead, her crew broken apart and scattered across the quadrant.

Tears poured down her cheeks. Her heart lay broken in the hands of a man who didn't care her any more, she had nowhere else to turn now . . .

_Can you recognize my face?_

_You used to love me_

_You used to hug me_

_But that wasn't the case_

_Everything wasn't okay_

_I was left to cry there_

_Waiting outside there_

_Grinning with the lost stare_

_That's when I decided_

_Why should I care_

_'Cause you weren't there when I was scared_

_I was so alone_

_You, you need to listen_

_I'm starting to trip_

_I'm losing my grip_

_And I'm in this thing alone_

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she climbed the steps up to the back door. She ordered a black coffee from the newly installed replicator in the kitchen and headed out into the lounge. She stopped short in shock as she saw Chakotay sat in the armchair opposite the sofa. The steaming mug of coffee slid from her suddenly limp fingers, and she ran upstairs, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle the sobs as the tears starting to fall again, her heart shattered even more.

"Kathryn . . . !" she ignored his startled plea and slammed her bedroom door behind her, falling onto her bed and weeping into her pillow.

_He's going to tell me he's marrying Seven!_ was the only thought running around her head as she cried herself to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Kathryn woke with a pounding headache. A coffee and a note sat on her bedside table. She pushed back the comforter, which had been pulled over her at some point during the night, and swung her legs out of bed. She reached for the coffee and drank deeply before setting it down and picking up the note. It was handwritten, the words to a song written in the black ink;

_I don't want to fight no more_

_Dunno what we're fighting for_

_When we treat each other baby_

_Like an act of war_

_I could tell a million lies_

_And it would come as no surprise_

_When the truth is like a stranger_

_Hits you right between the eyes_

_There's a time and a place and a reason_

_And I know I got a love to believe in_

_All I know I got to win this time_

_Without you, one night alone_

_Is like a year without you baby_

_Do you have a heart of stone_

_Without you_

_Can't stop the hurts inside_

_When love and hate collide_

She read the words over and over again, not sure what to make of it. She remembered seeing him the night before; he hadn't brought Seven with him . . . so maybe there might still be a change for her. She shook her head, asking herself why she'd been stupid enough to think that. He loved Seven, not her. He didn't want her back, not now. She'd already ruined everything.

The tears started to fall again. They landed on the paper and smudged the ink. She drew a shaky breath and put down the note, draining the last of the coffee before peeling off yesterday's clothes and climbing into the shower. She would go out to the rock like she usually did, and he would never know any better. And if she was lucky, maybe he'd go back to Seven and stop tormenting her broken heart and soul.


	8. Chapter 8

Kathryn looked out over the fields. All this space, all this freedom, never a chance to escape it - nothing had any meaning to her anymore. She had let him go, doomed to love someone she couldn't have, someone who loved someone else - someone younger, prettier, smarter. Maybe if she'd said something sooner, done something to show him what she felt for him . . . maybe he would've waited for her.

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words I need to hear_

_To always get me through the day_

_And make it okay_

_I miss you_

She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, watching as her world fell apart before her very eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Chakotay spotted the figure in the distance. He sped up until he was running towards her, but he stopped at the base of the rock when he heard her heartbroken sobs. His heart twisted painfully as he remembered the look of shock, dismay and complete and utter pain that he'd seen on her face the night before.

_I've broken her heart,_ he realised, and guilt flooded over him. Slowly, he climbed up beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened in his embrace for a moment before relaxing into his chest, letting him hold her for what she thought was to be the last time. She buried her face into his chest, clinging desperately to his shirt as her tears soaked the fabric. Her small body trembled, wracked with the distraught sobs. Cautiously, he stroked her hair and rubbed her back, hoping to calm her down but only making everything worse.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed, her voice muffled and constricted.

"What for?" he asked, confused.

"For . . . everything," she sobbed.

"Why? You haven't done anything wrong."

"I lost you."

"No you didn't. I'm right here, and I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon without you."

"But what . . . what about . . . Seven?" she choaked out.

"We broke up a few days ago."

"Why? She was perfect - she's young, pretty, smart . . . "

"Yes, but she wasn't you." Kathryn looked up at him, a small flame of hope in her eyes.

"You . . . You still . . . want me?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Dragged you down below_

_To the devils show_

_To be his guest forever_

_(Peace of mind is less than never)_

_Hate to twist your mind_

_But God ain't on your side_

_An old aquatiance served_

_(Burn the world your last endeavour)_

Kathryn tossed and turned in her sleep that night. She dreamt of the seven years spent in the Delta Quadrant - of all the crewmen she'd lost, of all the wrong decisions, of all the bad things she hadn't been able to stop. She dreamed that they hadn't found a way home, and that she'd been too late - that Seven and Chakotay had married, and that she had been the one to marry them. Only to have them tear her apart in the most brutal divorce only a few months later, and that neither had been the same after. Then the messages from Starfleet came, telling the Maquis that all their friends and family were either dead or imprisoned, telling the rest of the crew that all their family were dead, or that spouses and partners had moved on, and that their children were now grown and married. And that the only message for her was from her sister, telling her that Gretchen Janeway had died.

She dreamed that Chakotay came to her out of emotional turmoil, asking her when it had gone wrong between them, and why his marriage with Seven had failed so drastically. She wanted to tell him that she didn't have any answers for him, but that all that came out were the three words she'd promised she wouldn't say to him or any other man, ever again. She dreamed that they made love that night, only to discover a few weeks later that she was pregnant, and to then have Chakotay ripped away from her in the cruellest way possible.

She woke up screaming for Chakotay, sheets tangled around her legs, her breathing coming out in short hectic gasps, her heart hammering in her chest, sweat covering her body, stray strands of hair sticking to her forehead. The darkness seemed to surround her more completely than ever before, turning a cold hand on her heart. The walls seemed to be closing in on her, making her heart beat even faster.

The landing light came on outside her bedroom door, the light stretching out across her carpet through the crack under her bedroom door. Someone knocked on the door.

"Kathryn? Are you okay?"

"Chakotay!" the door opened slowly, and Chakotay peered through the crack at her, smiling a tired, sleepy smile. She tried to smile back but it didn't work, and he pushed open her door the rest of the way, walking over to sit on the edge of her bed and wrap his arms around her. She curled up against him, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him as tightly as possible, as if trying to make sure that he was real. She buried her face in his shoulder, feeling comforted by his body heat as it radiated out through his baggy t-shirt.

With his arms around her, her storming emotions calmed, and her racing heart slowed. Chakotay stroked her hair and lightly kissed the top if her head, keeping her body pressed firmly against his own.

_Can't wake up in sweat_

_Cause it ain't over yet_

_Still dancing with your demons_

_(Victim of your own creation)_

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked.

"No," came the muffled reply.

"Kathryn," he pleaded. If she woke up screaming, it was always bad. If she woke up screaming for him, it must be even worse.

She mumbled something inaudible, and pulled away, wiping away her tears before telling him about her dream. He listened in silence, reaching out to take her hand in his and caressing her knuckles when she finished. She looked down at their clasped hands for a little while, a shy smile on her lips when she looked back up at him.

Their eyes met. His were filled with sorrow, compassion and loyalty, hers were filled with uncertainty, pain, vulnerability and a fear of the past and of what might come. He reached up to brush a stray strand of hair from her eyes.

The first kiss was slow and simple, his lips barely touching hers. She moved closer to him, moulding her body against his as she pressed her lips against his, desperate to feel something other than the fear and the pain. He placed a gentle hand on her back, using the other to keep himself upright on the bed. He could feel the tears falling against his skin, unsure whether they were hers or his.


	11. Chapter 11

Phoebe groaned when she woke up to the sound of birds cheeping outside her window. It was too early, but she brought herself to climb out of the warm bed. She trudged into the hallway yawning, and upon seeing the door to the spare room open and the door to Kathryn's room ajar, stuck her head into her sister's room.

Kathryn and Chakotay lay sleeping, sprawled uncomfortably across Kathryn's bed. Kathryn was clinging to Chakotay in her sleep, mumbling something incoherent in her sleep; Chakotay's arms were wrapped protectively around her shoulders.

Phoebe smiled tiredly herself and headed downstairs; she had heard Kathryn wake up screaming the night before until she'd heard the footsteps heading towards her room, and she'd realised that the scream had been calling for Chakotay in distress.

_It starts with one thing_

_I don't know why_

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_

_Keep that in mind_

_I designed this rhyme_

_To explain in due time_

_All I know_

_Time is a valuable thing_

_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_

_Watch it count down to the end of the day_

_The clock ticks life away_

Looking at the old-fashioned twelve-hour clock on the wall, she saw that it was only seven o'clock in the morning. She groaned, and grabbed a cup of coffee, heading to the computer console with it and hoping that B'Elanna was awake at this time in the morning - she had plans to make.

The comm call was answered by B'Elanna's husband, Tom, with Miral squirming in his arms. They'd met once or twice when they were younger, before Tom had joined the Maquis and been captured. She knew from Kathryn that he was 'StarFleet's best pliot out there'.

"Hey Phoebe. How's the Captain?"

"She was a bit shocked when she saw Chakotay here the other day, and she woke up screaming for him last night."

"Really?!" she nodded. "What did they talk about?"

"Tom!" she groaned. Despite being 'StarFleet's best pilot', he really hadn't changed much. "That's why I called. I need a favour."

"What kind of favour?"

"I want to get Kathryn and Chakotay together."

Tom grinned.

"Let the plotting begin!" he whispered excitedly, followed by an amused screech from Miral, who waved at Phoebe throw the comm. channel, almost as if she knew what was going on.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry, got de-railed from the writing inspiration train and hauled onto the back end of the songwriting one for a week - been more stressful than I thought it was going to be. But after a few days of re-acquainting myself with a tv show I fell in love with a few years ago, I'm back! Hope you enjoy.**

Chakotay looked out of the kitchen window briefly before looking back down to read through Phoebe's note again. She'd started the journey back to her family on Mars, and she'd arranged for Tom, B'Elanna and MIral to come over for a few hours after lunch to check on them, but they'd be gone by dinnertime. She needed to be with her husband and children again, and Kathryn was 'in good hands'.

The old-fashioned kettle screamed on the old-fashioned stove as the water inside boiled. He picked up the handle and poured the water into the mug to make a fresh mug of coffee for Kathryn. _Help her_ _Chakotay_.

_So do I remind you of_

_Someone you never met_

_A lonely silhouette_

_And do I remind you of_

_Someone you wanna be_

_So pull at a leash is too far out to reach_

_Ohh I wish you to open up for me_

_'Cause I wanna know you_

_Amaryllis_

_Bloom_

Kathryn sat on the swing chair in the shade under some willow trees in the back yard of the Janeway farmhouse, swinging idly in the warm summers breeze, an empty coffee cup in hand. She was staring idly out across the garden at the Talaxian tomatoes she'd planted in the opposite flowerbed after she'd returned to Indiana after the Starfleet debriefings had ended.

Chakotay watched her from the porch for a while before wandering over to join her.

"Can I sit down?" he asked quietly, holding out a steaming mug of coffee to her as a peace offering. She nodded, and let him pull the empty coffee mug from her hands and replace it with the full one. "You okay?" She nodded silently. "Kathryn," he pleaded.

"Why?" she whispered, a stray tear spilling over her cheek. "A crew of almost a hundred and fifty and you chose Seven?" Chakotay played with the handle of the empty mug before he answered.

"Because I was hurting. I've been in love with you for so long Kathryn, and after Seven came aboard, it felt a lot like you didn't have time for me anymore, like you'd stopped caring for me. You started to stop giving me any of those little signs to show that you still cared. So when she asked me to escort her on a date to help her explore a wider range of human emotion, I felt . . . flattered, in a way. By spending time with her, I felt like I was getting to spend time with you, but in a way that I'd never be able to have with you.

"And when I saw how much you were hurting, I enjoyed it. Because it meant that you were suffering like I was." He bit his lip and refused to meet her eyes. "But it went too far. I didn't see it until it was too late. Everyone was against us staying together after the debriefings were over, and hardly anyone from Voyager would talk to us, let alone spend time with us.

"So when I spoke to B'Elanna and she convinced me to change something, anything, I felt like I had to start by talking to you. But when I saw that last one yo left me, telling me that your mother had died . . . and I felt like something had snapped. I realised what I had done wrong. I broke my promise to you, and everyone else made sure that I knew just how much you were suffering because of me.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn."


	13. Chapter 13

Kathryn put the coffee down on the grass at her feet and leaned into his chest, curling her feet up onto the swinging bench beside her. Strong arms wrapped around her.

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd_

_Need you there when I cried_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie_

_Is made up on your side_

_When you walk away_

_I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missin' you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missin', too_

_When you're gone_

_The words I need to hear_

_To always get me through the day_

_And make it okay_

_I miss you_

"I'm scared, Chakotay," she whispered. "I've loved you since the day I met you, but I was scared to let you in, scared to feel everything that I could if I let you in, and what would happen then. Every man I've ever loved, I've lost, Chakotay . . . I don't know if I could handle it to loose you, especially not out there. But I did, and then . . . when Mum died, I was scared more than ever, because I needed you here by my side, but you weren't there . . . And I couldn't take you away from Seven, I couldn't do that her, or you, or anyone.

"I caused so much pain out there Chakotay, I don't . . . I don't deserve all this." Her breathing hitched, her voice faltered, and she started to cry, breaking down until she was sobbing into Chakotay's chest, his own tears seeping into her auburn red hair.


	14. Chapter 14

They sat on the swing chair under the tree until the sunset and the moon started to rise, sitting low in the sky amongst the endless sea of stars. When they had first arrived home, Kathryn had discovered that she yearned to back on her ship, where she was part of a family flying through this sea, headed towards a common goal. Because out there, on the other side of the galaxy, she had known, for the first time in a long while, the true meaning of peace. Because Chakotay had been by her side.

_All it takes is the main attraction_

_Scattered bones underneath the fashion_

_Lower life on a higher plain_

_That's what you want_

_That's what you're giving away_

She had lost him to Seven, and it had broken her heart, because after all those years of telling him to move on only to find that he still stayed by her side, he had finally listened to her.

And it hurt more than she could ever have thought it would. Because it felt like she was falling back into the darkness of the pain caused by all the heartbreak and loss in her life that she thought she'd let go of years ago.

_Photogenic, come and get it_

_You can have it_

_Take it all!_

_Schizophrenic, so sadistic_

_I don't know, I don't know_

_Politicans, in condition_

_Dyin' for a curtain call_

_Counter culture, full of vultures_

_Bet you think I'm what!_

But it was over now. He was back, holding her in his arms, watching the moon rise into the sea that had been their home for seven, long, painful years.

Looking up at the stars, she felt . . . free. She was home at last. On Voyager, they had been far from Earth, but they had been a family . . . a family that had proved its loyalty to her and Chakotay individually and together, personally and together. She smiled as she remembered something B'Elanna had said to her a few weeks beforehand.

_Sea without a shore for the banished one unheard_

_He lightens the beacon, light at the end of the world_

_Showing the way lighting hope in their hearts_

_The ones on their travels homeward from afar_

_This is the long forgotten_

_Light at the end of the world_

_Horizon crying_

_The tears he left behind long ago_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kathryn tilted her head back to look into his deep chocolate eyes, smiling shyly at him.

"Just thinking about something B'Elanna said a few weeks ago."

"Care to share?"

"Nope."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry took so long to update. Been uninspired.

**Voyager Two Year Reunion**

Voyager's two year reunion was the first reunion that Kathryn had been able to make it too. She had missed the first Voyager reunion because she had wanted to avoid seeing Chakotay and Seven there together. But this year she hadn't been able to get out of it.

After the formal 'Hello's' and introductions to family members and new partners and arrivals, the band in the corner had begun to play. Kathryn stood by the door with a glass of champagne and looked across the dance floor, watching her crew dance with partners, fiances, husbands and wives.

Arms slipped around her waist; she leaned back against Chakotay's broad chest, his breath tickling her neck, breathing in his sweet scent as it surrounded her. "Tell me what you're thinking about?" he said.

"Everyone looks so happy," she whispered, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "I just wish that I had been able to introduce them to my mother, that's all. She would've loved to meet them."

"I'm sure they would've loved to meet her too," he said, placing a soft kiss on the side of her neck. She shivered.

The song faded. Chakotay stepped out from behind her and gently lifted the glass from her hands, placing it on a nearby table. Then, he took her hands in his and led her out onto the dance floor as another song started. It was an acoustic song, an old 21st-century one, a soft one that Chakotay could relate to.

_Let me in your room_

_I've seen the rest of you_

_But I know there's something more in your room_

_I'm right outside your door_

_Show me things you've never shown me before_

_A few pictures from your past_

_And those walls you painted black_

_And the secrets that you keep under your bed_

_All you have to do, is let me in your room_

_You can be yourself_

_You don't have to hide from me, I won't tell_

_I know that everyone you've trusted has let you down_

_And you don't want to come out_

_And show me, show me_

_You know every part of me_

_I let you in, I let you see_

_All the dark and every corner of my room_

_Let me do that for you_

_And tell me all about your past_

_Why you painted those walls black_

_Baby it's all right you're safe in here with me_

_Open up so I can see_

_A few pictures from your past_

_And those walls you painted black_

_And the secrets you keep under your bed_

_An unopened letter from your bed_

_A poster of your favourite band_

_It doesn't matter, I'll take every part of you_

_All you have to do is let me in your room_

_Let me in your room_

Kathryn leaned in closer, resting her head on his chest as they swayed to the final few chords of the song. She felt his embrace tighten around her, and she smiled. Suddenly, standing here in a crowded room with what was left of her family, with his arms around her and his heart beat beneath her ear, all the barriers that she'd built up over the years were gone. They had crumbled the day he had come back for her, the day that he had made her see that it was okay, and that out there, there was still someone who had the other part of her soul and held the other half of her heart.

And that someone was him.

She tilted her head back so that their eyes met, and, as the last note of the song faded, their lips met too. It was just as slow and sweet as their first kiss, and just as beautiful.

As the broke apart, a chorus of cheers and applause rose up throughout the room. Kathryn smiled her crooked smile, embarassment faintly colouring her cheeks. Chakotay smiled back, and leaned in to kiss her again, whispering "don't be afraid to love, Kathryn," just before their lips met.

**The End**


End file.
